TR Robertson — Continuing with looking at the unusual and strange crimes that either still exist or once existed in the various states of the United States, this article begins with the state of Kansas. Remember many of these laws pertain to cities in the state and many of the laws are incredibly old. Part 4 will begin with the state of Minnesota.
- Hitting a vending machine that “stole” your money is illegal.
- No swimming or wading in public fountains is allowed.
- Tire screeching is illegal.
- All places of business must provide a horse troft.
- It is illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suits.
- The installation of bathtubs is illegal.
- It is illegal to catch bullfrogs in a tomato patch.
- Mules cannot be used to hunt ducks.
- It is illegal to hunt whales.
- No hunting is allowed from a car, airplane, or boat.
- You cannot dye ducklings and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once.
- The superintendent of sanitation shall determine if a person is small, medium, or large.
- No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway withing this state unless she is escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club. This statue shall not apply to any female weighing less than 60 lbs. nor exceeding 200 lbs. and shall not apply to female horses.
- All nude people in your house must be registered.
- Anyone who has been drinking is sober until he or she “cannot hold onto the ground”.
- It is against the law to shoot off a policeman’s tie.
- Every citizen is required to take a shower once a year.
- You need a license to walk around nude on your property.
- It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow.
- A woman may not buy a hat without her husband’s permission.
- It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.
- It is illegal to instruct a pizza delivery man to deliver a pizza to your friend or order goods and services without them knowing.
- You cannot take another person’s crawfish.
- It is illegal to have a goatee unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
- Biting someone with your natural teeth is “simple assault” but biting someone with your false teeth is “aggravated assault”.
- It is illegal to gargle in a public place.
- It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
- It is illegal for a woman to drive a car unless her husband is waving a flag in front of it.
- It is legal to walk down the street with a drink, but if you fall and block the sidewalk you have broken the law.
- Rituals that involve the ingestion of blood, urine or fecal matter are illegal.
- Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and locked.
- Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shift.
- It is illegal to keep Christmas decorations up after January 14.
- You cannot skateboard on sidewalks.
- Advertisements may not be placed in cemeteries.
- You cannot stroll down streets playing the violin.
- It is illegal to sell a car on Sunday unless it comes with plumbing.
- It is illegal to catch lobster with your bare hands.
- Shoelaces must be tied when walking down streets.
- It is unlawful to tickle a woman’s chin with a feather duster.
- You may not step out of a plane in flight.
- Shotguns may be taken to church in case of attack.
- Persons may not swear while on the highway.
- It is a violation to be in a public park in a sleeveless shirt.
- It is illegal to sell non-latex condoms in a vending machine.
- Spitting on city sidewalks is prohibited.
- It is illegal to throw hay from a second story window within the city limits.
- You cannot have an antenna exposed outside of your house.
- It is illegal to mistreat oysters.
- Kisses longer than one second are illegal.
- A woman can go through her husband’s pockets while he is sleeping.
- It is illegal to own an explosive golf ball.
- It is illegal to give alcohol to a hospital patient if they are hospitalized for something alcohol related.
- Candy cannot contain more than 1% alcohol.
- Bullets may not be used as currency.
- Children can smoke but cannot purchase cigarettes.
- To paint your house requires permission from the historical society.
- It is unlawful to water your lawn when it is raining.
- It is illegal to post an advertisement on a public urinal.
- It is illegal to take a bath unless instructed to do so by a physician.
- Only the missionary position is allowed between couples.
- A 1659 law outlawed Christmas.
- No man may seduce or corrupt an unmarried girl.
- You cannot be drunk on a train.
- It is illegal for woman to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.
- Adultery is a felony, and the unmarried party is also liable.
- It is illegal to sleep in a bathtub.
- A farmer can sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
- Anyone bathing in public must have his or her bathing suit inspected by a police officer.
- It is legal for a robber to file a lawsuit if they were injured in your house.
- It is illegal to loiter in the city morgue.
- Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun if they were not convicted of a felony.
- Since 1889, any nonresident person with an infectious disease can be sent back to where they came from if they could travel, otherwise they would be put in a pest house.
Once again, strange, and very weird laws. Many established in a much different time than now. Some may not be in use today, but many make enough sense to be used today.